Weekend Coffee Share – 7/10/2021

It is hard to believe we are midway through (or close to midway through) July already. Time is really flying by. Please come on in and join me for Weekend Coffee Share hosted by Natalie the Explorer.

If you would like a drink, I have coffee, cold water, and the usual unsweetened tea or Gatorade. I can make you hot tea or cocoa, but it IS mid-July and ugh, it is so hot and humid here.

Funny meme about replying to emails with picture of sad crying kid drawing with crayons
Google image/meme – I literally wanted this tacked to my door last week.

If we were having coffee, I would really try not to talk about work. It was a cluster-mess of a week and it would probably bore you to tears. Let me just say it involved research for one of the attorneys leading me to articles about a “Testicle Squeezer” and the shattering of a vase through some old florescent light bulbs, causing me a hour’s worth of clean up and several bandages. Although it was only a four day week, it seemed like eight, yet with the piles of projects I am struggling to get through, and the looming FINRA arbitration on the horizon, it seemed like I got nothing done. I am working from home Monday as we have some construction people coming to fix a few things at the house, and I am looking forward to getting some of the bigger projects under control without the constant interruptions.

If we were having coffee, I would share that my usual routine took a hit today. Never a good thing for me. I met my sister-in-law for breakfast. I have known my sister-in-law since I was 14 years old.  She has her challenges, but then again who doesn’t. Age and my mother in law’s health over the years really took a toll on her. When I say she has her challenges, I mean she literally makes me feel incredibly sane when I spend any amount of time with her. I say this lovingly, I truly do, but a year ago, we had a giant falling out. Sparing you most of the crazy details and her absolute inability to acknowledge that she played any part in the falling out, including flat out denying she sent me any accusatory text messages AND claimed the whole thing started as a result of my texting her husband on HIS birthday, I do have to give a bit of background.  That being said, you still have to really put yourself into the realm of crazy to get the full feel for what happened. 

The punch line of the whole, year-long sordid affair is that she accused me of inappropriately texting her husband and strongly suggested I tell my husband before she does. In a manner and tone that indicated she truly believed something was “going on”. Unbeknownst to me, my iPhone chose to put his number as the primary whenever I initiated a text to her.   This was my mistake in that I do not keep husbands/boyfriends of MY friends as separate contacts.  Why would I?  I’m never going to contact them other than as a back up to reach my family or friends.  After this incident, I do not do this anymore.  Nor do I put land lines and cell numbers under the same contact – each person gets two contacts – “Home” and “Cell”.  After the accusations came down, I accessed my cell phone records and sure enough, every time I initiated a text, it went to him, not her. I was mortified to say the least. And I was pissed. For TWO YEARS every text I had initiated to her went to his phone. For TWO YEARS she mentioned this to me only once after their first anniversary when apparently my “happy anniversary” text went to him. She said I blew it off and laughed about it. And I did. I didn’t think she had a single clue what she was talking about. I had no idea – the contact came up only with her name and a photograph.  Never a number.  But for the next eighteen months, not a word about it. Not a “hey why the hell do you keep texting my husband”.  Not during any of the many dinners, breakfasts, family gatherings, holidays, shopping trips, ever. Not once. Her husband said nothing to me, despite running into me several times at the grocery store, nothing to my husband, not even jokingly during many of those gatherings. Apparently, the icing on the cake, in March of the year before I sent the last text on her her birthday text which went awry, we were planning my mother-in-law’s funeral. Her husband and I stayed at the table while my husband and sister in law talked about urns, plaques, etc. We were there as family support only and not offering opinions on the choices and, as always, I am the one stuck reading contracts (being in the “legal field” and all). At some point, apparently, I received a text, looked at my phone, smiled, and turned my phone over. She told me she was unable to see who texted me. Yes, she told me that. And therefore, it must have been an inappropriate text likely involving her husband – who was sitting across from me WITHOUT a phone. I was dumbfounded.  This was beyond crazy, even for her.  It ended with a very hurtful text message, which I sent to her brother/my husband. I told him I was cutting communications with her and apologized because I truly am the buffer between those two as he doesn’t have the skills to deal with her “issues”.  

I know I promised this to be short – fast forward to a year later, we had a chance encounter when my husband stopped by her house to give her a birthday gift after he and I had been out for dinner. I thought he went inside and I stayed in the car. I was post second vaccination and suffering from shingles and well, had absolutely no desire to speak to her. She knocks on my window. I politely lower my window, wish her a happy birthday and I am so professional and polite I am making myself sick. I wanted to throat punch her. I tend to hold grudges and hate myself for it, especially when the other person has challenges.

She talks to me as though nothing has happened. Asks me if I got a new phone number because I did not respond to her texts.  It was as if nothing ever happened.  So, me being me, I brought it up.  I started with an apology for any misunderstanding.  No misunderstanding, she said, I shouldn’t have texted her husband on his birthday.  Wait, what?  His birthday?  It was HER birthday (at 4:30 a.m. because I wanted to be first).  I know it was her birthday because (a) her birthday is the same day as my brother’s birthday so not one I will EVER forget; and (b) on HIS birthday (a month before hers), I was IN THEIR APARTMENT setting up and showing them how to work their very first computer. Setting up Microsoft Office, explaining how to turn it on, turn it off, log in, use google, setting passwords, making them write everything down. I was there for hours. I know it was his birthday because I was registering software for them and needed his DOB.  She absolutely refuses to acknowledge the entire incident – the accusations, my tearful apology, my explanation and horror over the entire thing. Nothing. I’m the crazy one.

So this morning we resumed our periodic breakfasts.  Not a word was mentioned about the events over the last year.  I love my sister in law and all of her quirks.  I ignore most of the craziness, like her telling me she saw me in my new car – the light blue one car. I was driving my not-so-new SUV, which is gun metal gray, at the time. I have never owned a light blue one and I don’t have a “car”, I have an SUV. Never drove a light blue car. Ever. She insisted. Stared at me like I was lying to her. It was then I realized life was back to normal and all was right with the world…her world.

But after a relatively pleasant breakfast at a restaurant I had always refused to go to, my day leveled out a bit.  I got the grocery shopping done, got a package of little trinkets and snacks mailed off to my grandsons, and had a late morning Starbucks treat.  Now, I am bracing for my Diversity, Inclusion and Equity Committee Meeting for the National Federal of Paralegal Associations.  We are scattered all across the country so me…being on the East Coast…gets the “late” time.  I struggle to remember these meetings since I am well into my day by the time it starts.  But we have a lot to discuss – rewriting a policy manual to include DI&E.  I know it is needed, but I really wish it wasn’t.  Why can’t we all treat humans as humans and not be focused on their sexual preferences, skin color, ethnicity, gender…and many others.  Today at the post office, while we were waiting for the postal workers to take their sweet and slow time returning to the counters, the group of customers, four of us, just chatted about cats and opossums.  No one knew anyone else, it was just a conversation.  The older man was almost tearful as he left saying it was so nice just to converse with others about “everything and nothing”.

I will leave you with this last thought…assuming any of you are still with me after my long drawn out family saga.  The reason I have refused, in the past, to go to that restaurant is for one reason only.  The name.  It bugs me to no end and I want them to fix it. I know, by the rules of grammar, it is considered correct, but EWWWWWW.

Chris's Kitchen 1329 Lincoln Way E Chambersburg, PA Bakeries - MapQuest
That’s just wrong…

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I hope you were able to slowly shake your head and chuckle at my family saga. It takes all sorts of people to make up this beautiful world, does it not?

Published by SadiRose

Blogging gets the noise in my head out...at least for a little while. I use blogging to weed through all that noise and find the humor in each situation, even if it takes some time to find it. I am not selling anything, just sharing experiences as a mother, Amma, wife, paralegal, volunteer, Muslimah, sister, daughter, mother-in-law, woman.

16 thoughts on “Weekend Coffee Share – 7/10/2021

  1. I feel for you about your family saga. I am glad for your sister-in-law that she seems peacefully unaware of her craziness though.

    With respect to DI&E, I used to be all for it, but now it’s gone a bit too far with all the language policing etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Astrid, I agree. There are times I find myself stunned wondering how something so insignificant could be deemed so prejudicial. I understand where it is coming from but it can be overwhelming. I would rather was NOT focus on (but never forget to embrace) people’s differences, and just treat others as we wish to be treated. No ifs, but, or excepts.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. With her there is always something, whether it is me, my husband, her nephews, the person driving the light blue car that failed to wave to her…but she is family and I love her just the same.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my – SadiRose. . .
    I can see this happening and now want to go through my whole contact list for the same setup.
    This is the kind of thing that happens to me.

    I also carry a grudge and get my nose out of joint when not treated honestly or with the same degree of grace that I give others.

    A while back an elder in our church was listening to me complain about how someone really got under my skin and I wants something that bordered on revenge. Long conversation over a great lunch but his bottom line was convicting. He asked me what’s more important to me, being acknowledged as being right or retaining the relationship. . .?

    I wanted to say all kinds of buts. . . but he was right. Often the relationship is more important than individual incidents and both parties are fundamentally flawed people to begin with. Sometimes, I just have to swallow not receiving the grace I want or the treatment I feel I deserve.

    Not my strong point, but I still think this is a strong lesson in such cases.

    Hang in there.
    Is this one of those times when humor is mandatory?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gary – yes, this time humor is absolutely mandatory. Everyone is quirky and I have been able to navigate her quirks for more than 40 years. I missed her terribly during my year hiatus and while I was/am angry that she not only didn’t apologize to me, she completely changed the scenario and made it my fault. But it is who she is and while some may say that sort of toxicity is not necessary, I feel I see her differently than others. I am happy we have resumed our relationship.

      Like

  3. Keep cool during the heat wave and any family saga 🙂 You’ve got this.

    In your first paragraph, the link to my blog didn’t seem to work. I got an error message when I selected it. Just thought to let you know. Have a nice weekend! Thank you for your #weekendcoffeeshare.

    Like

    1. I think I know what happened. I had trouble editing the post and I made some edits in word and then cut and pasted into the blog. I think that broke the link. I will go back and fix it. Thanks for letting me know.

      Like

    1. It was absolutely mortifying. And to have faced them both time and time again with never being told about it only to be accused later of inappropriateness. I am so very careful now. And I take comfort in knowing that 99.99% of other people would have said something to me if it was happening repeatedly or even the first time it happened. Not months – years later. She is not in that 99.99%.

      Like

  4. It takes all sorts of people… I believe that if someone accusing me of something I haven’t done, and it’s not a matter of life and death, I am better off just ignoring it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ugh family drama — it’s a like a pressure cooker sometimes. You set aside the problem and it builds until the top comes off. That is true, the husband or your SIL should have sent a simple reply saying “this is not me, this is her husband. Here’s her number” and it would have been easily settled. Sometimes my husband’s friend’s text me in the event they could not reach him and I reply back that he’s out doing army drill.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed. Instead, as is her usual reaction, she built up a drama in her head and like a poorly sealed pressure cooker…it exploded. I feel like I should have been the bigger person and not let this drag on a year, but I was very embarrassed.

      Like

  6. Oh boy! Is your sister in law my sister? Lol…oh wait, no my sister isn’t married, but sheesh I know what you’re talking about. Ugghh. I’m always on eggshells and never know if she likes me or doesn’t and for whatever reason unfriended me on facebook…she lives with my dad and so I’m the bad sister who doesn’t care….blah blah blah. :/ Anyways. I got a chuckle out of your sign comment.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Frozen in the Fire

Rising up through Grace

The Anxious Violet

Living the Dream with Anxiety

J-Dubs Grin and Bear It

As Always, More to Come

My Inner MishMash

What plays in my brain.

Keep it alive

A look at life, achieving good physical and mental health and happiness

Wide Eyed In Wonder

Mozambican-born Portuguese South African; reflecting on travel, writing, editing, life, family and change that has social impact; chief wide eyed in wanderer, wonderer and bottlewasher

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Sparks From A Combustible Mind

EMBERS FROM SOMEONE DOGGEDLY TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL...

Eat, Play, Live

Doing things that bring me joy

A Unique Title For Me

Hoping to make the world more beautiful

Stray Coffee Breaks

Pour a Cup and Stay a While

Gary A Wilson Stories

10 Minute Adventures, Fiction and Coffee Breaks

pamelascanepa

The blog of Pamela Schloesser Canepa....reflections on writing, family, dogs, learning, books, and almost everything from mundane to weird.

Natalie the Explorer

Taking steps to live a healthy and enriched life

Adventures of A Silver Fox!

Adventurous Mom, Empty Nester and Silver Fox....Enjoying Life one Day at a Time!

Welcome to Brittany Thinks!

Thoughts, feelings and open topics

This, That, and The Other

Random musings on life, society, and politics.

A Multitude of Musings

On the Way to Wholeness

Salted Caramel

Blogging, Motivation, Lifestyle and much more.

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: