For this week’s Sunday Ramble, EM’s questions help clear some of the clutter from my mind. Here are her prompts:
When you feel negative, what techniques do you use to bring yourself up to feeling positive? I don’t ever really “feel”. I have bubbles of happiness or intense sadness but they are short-lived and fleeting. The majority of the time I’m just void of any intense feeling. Could that be the meds? Could it be emotional numbness from long-standing issues? Probably a little of both. Now, I do have a tendency to get “pissed off” at situations. Such as being told “no” or having the Court clerks reject my filings because they say I didn’t send envelopes. I did, but they say I didn’t. So when that happens, rather than drive to court and have my words directly with them (they have stopped putting initials on the rejection notices), I respond in a satisfactorily, condescending and/or sarcastic way. Once, the clerk misspelled the name of the individual that needed docketing. I returned the (second set) of envelopes AND highlighted the misspelling with a note that said “please spell name correctly on docket”. I have been known to return the (second set) of envelopes stapled so securely to the letter, they need a heavy duty remover to get it off. So to answer this question, when I am pissed off, i.e., feeling negative, I respond tongue-in-cheek/sarcastically. I have a better control over it now, and well, it has been many years since I responded to a chickadee in the Secretary of State’s office that hung up on me rather than admit her error by getting her fired. Yes, you understand that correctly…rarely am I negative, but when I am….RUN!
What is a smell that made you smile when you woke up today? Ahh, well, my sense of smell is greatly diminished – thank you autoimmune disease. However, this morning was one of the rare mornings where I slept in. Not intentionally, I was supposed to work this morning from 5 am to 8 am, but I woke at 6:30 a.m. When I woke, I was nestled next to my husband and it was his unique scent that I first remember. As I have known my husband since we were 14 (a very, very long time), catching his natural scent brings me back to our younger years. Is that how soulmates know each other? Hmmm.
An owl is known for its wisdom, what are you known for? I hope for my humor. I have a lot of issues that many people may dwell on negatively. I poke fun at myself. Gently, and with a lot of love, but if I don’t, I will don the white jacket and put myself into a rubber room. That is the positive. As for the negative, I think I am known for being needy and craving validation. I am learning (and forgetting more often) that the only validation I really need is from myself. I must drive people crazy needing to break out a thesaurus in order to tell me all the wonderful adjectives to describe a meal that I cooked.
Do you know any good recipes? If so, can you share one? (If you don’t cook, tell me your favorite food recipe that someone else makes for you.) I have been collecting recipes since I have been able to cook. I once wrote a cookbook, but thanks to multiple upgrades to the software and an obnoxious hard drive crash, I lost it. That being said, I am attaching a recipe I made not long ago when it was just me and my stepson at home. Hubs would never eat this. It was delish. Hopefully the recipe comes through…I’ve never attached a .pdf before. If not, the website is at the top of the pdf.
How do you console the people around you? (Online or in-person) I am not particularly good at consoling. What I am good at is taking charge and trying to take a lot off the other person’s plate? I do offer up words of encouragement and try to always give positive reminders that “this will pass” or “you are loved”. I try to make myself available for them. I do struggle with consoling those that don’t really want consoled. I feel inadequate. Like I can’t do for them like I should. My issue; not theirs.