Share Your World – 4/19/2021

This week’s Share Your World questions are below. By the way, if you don’t follow Melanie, you have to at least visit her page. Her smile is amazing in her profile and I always smile when I see it. Just thought I better mention that since you are really missing out if you haven’t seen it.

What was the last TV show you binge-watched?   If you don’t watch TV (congratulations by the way) what’s the last thing you binged ON? The last show we binged from start to finish was Who Killed Sara and we are anxiously awaiting the next season. We are watching You on Netflix as well, but it doesn’t really qualify as a binge since we can take or leave the episodes.

What’s your most prized possession and why? I don’t have any prized possessions. I don’t believe in giving a lot of value to material items. I can’t even thing of a favorite possession. I mean, I would be sad if I lost my engagement ring or if all my photo albums of my children when they were young, burned up in a fire, but nothing that would have me devastated.

If you had the time and inclination, what would you volunteer for? Oh so many things. I am extremely introverted so as much as I would enjoy doing a lot of volunteer things, I rarely bring myself to do them. I have thought about visiting elderly people. I would like to stop over and visit for about an hour or so, have tea or coffee, and make sure they have a stocked refrigerator and medicines all in order. I don’t have a medical background, so not like a home health care worker. More like a doting daughter.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? No unfortunately. Arrogance and selfishness will always be inherent in people. Unless “I am better/smarter/richer than….” or “I deserve…” can be wiped out of our personalities and vocabulary, there will always be discontent. Sad though. Very sad.


Gratitude Section

I am grateful for the time to reflect on the littlest of blessings. We often seem to look at or for the big blessings. I like to take a big blessing and burrow down until my mind is blown. I’m grateful for my life, for the air that fills my lungs, for my beating heart, for the blood that runs in my veins, for the intricate system that keeps me alive, for the cells that split and created me, for the soul He blessed me with….

Song Lyric Sunday – Sheila

Oh boy, for this week’s Song Lyric Sunday we are going to reveal a deep dark secret of mine. This week’s entry is going to be one sung by the celebrity I was sooooo very much in love with in my early teen years. I had posters all over my bedroom and I was so sure I would die if I didn’t marry him. My mom had to finally convince me we are related (we are both Scandinavian) and yes, if you go back far enough, our family trees do link up. (Doesn’t everyone’s?) Anyway, I was naive enough to believe that ancient Viking brothers from the 800 A.D. era was sufficiently close to make it impossible for us to marry.

Leif Garrett was a teen idol in the 1970s. Born in Hollywood, California, he began his career, mostly acting, when he was just 5 years old. I remember some interesting things about Leif that I tried to copy. He rode a skateboard. I tried to ride a skateboard…a bright pink one if I recall correctly. And he drank Tab. I tried Tab. Not liking Tab, I ended up with a necklace with a Tab can charm. (Side note for those of you who do not know…Tab was Coca-Cola’s first attempt at a diet drink and was discontinued in last year. It’s popularity declined rapidly after the introduction of Diet Coke. And it tasted awful.)

Leif Garrett did not age well. He ran into a lot of legal troubles and fell into the drug and alcohol lifestyle. While he is still alive and occasionally making music, his most recent claims to fame have been television shows like Celebrity Rehab, releasing a few singles via the internet (none of which I have listened to) and writing his autobiography, Idol Truth.

The song, Sheila, was originally written by Tommy Roe and released in 1962 reaching #1 on Billboard’s Top 100. According to an article I read, Tommy Roe wrote this song about a girl from his high school by another name, and although the song was well received, it was suggested the name be changed. Tommy’s aunt Sheila was visiting at the time and viola, we have Sheila. Tommy Roe’s Sheila has been covered several times since 1962, including Leif’s cover in 1979 on his album Feel the Need.

Sweet little Sheila, you’ll know her if you see her
Blue eyes and a ponytail
Cheeks are rosy, she looks a little nosy
Man, this little girl is fine

Never knew a girl like a little Sheila
Her name drives me insane
Sweet little girl, that’s my little Sheila
Man, this little girl is fine

Me and Sheila go for a ride
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I feel all funny inside
Then little Sheila whispers in my ear
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I love you Sheila dear

Sheila said she loved me, she said she’d never leave me
True love will never die
We’re so doggone happy just bein’ around together
Man, this little girl is fine

Never knew a girl like a little Sheila
Her name drives me insane
Sweet little girl, that’s my little Sheila
Man, this little girl is fine

Me and Sheila go for a ride
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I feel all funny inside
Then little Sheila whispers in my ear
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I love you Sheila dear

Sheila said she loved me, she said she’d never leave me
True love will never die
We’re so doggone happy just bein’ around together
Man, this little girl is fine

Oh, this little girl is fine
Yeah, this little girl is fine
Oh, this little girl is fine

Just for fun, here is the Tommy Roe video of Sheila as well.

Weekend Coffee Share – 4/17/21

Come on in for some Coffee and a chat. If you can stop by before 5:10 a.m., I’ll down a cup of coffee or some water with you before my fast starts. Otherwise, I have plenty to offer and, while I appreciate the sentiment, you do not need to be shy about having your coffee, tea, water or snacks while I am fasting.

As mentioned above, it is Ramadan and fasting starts around 5:10 a.m. and goes until about 7:50 p.m. Ramadan, a month in the Islamic lunar calendar, moves on the Gregorian calendar about 10 days forward each year. This is my 20th year, Alhamdulillah (praise God), and if my memory serves me correctly, my first Ramadan was around Thanksgiving, or just before. In other words, I have experienced the shorter winter fasts and the longer summer fasts. However, the holy month of Ramadan and fasting from the start of sunrise to the start of sunset is not the only *challenge*.

Ramadan is also about increasing charitable and good deeds, increasing prayers and seeking repentance, reflecting on our blessings, etc. Eating during the fasting hours isn’t the only thing that “breaks your fast”. It is a time to be kinder and to be a good person. I’d like to think I am generally a good person, but I feel more at peace during this time of year. Maybe because I am really trying to think before I act.

For those of you that visit me for coffee on a regular basis, know I have difficulties lately at work with one particular attorney. Dealing with him is a challenge already and we are only 5 days into Ramadan. I am glad we have masks on in the office so I can hide my … well most of my … facial expressions. Of course, Muslims believe that we are rewarded for our intentions. Our sincere intentions. And well, it is my sincere intention not to throat punch him.

As with anything in my life, the routine change that comes with adjusting to Ramadan was the hardest. I didn’t sleep well the first two nights worried I would oversleep and miss getting up for sehri (the morning meal). Then there was the routine change of having coffee first, then eating breakfast, as I don’t have time to stretch it out like I normally do. Plus no Starbucks. (By far the hardest routine change ever.) Once I readjusted my routine however, I slept through the night and my meals are not rushed or unsatisfying. I prepared for Ramadan by making shami kababs. That was a meal my ex-nightmare used to make and sort of a Ramadan tradition for me. Although I have very little sense of taste anymore, the spiciness stays with me for awhile and I like that. Plus eating protein, and not carbs, helps keep me feeling full longer.

I have to say Desi food is my favorite ethnic food with Mexican food taking up a close second. Unfortunately, my husband does not like Desi food at all, or so he says. I just call it by an English name when I cook it at home and he doesn’t know better. Like butter chicken instead of murgh makhani. Or delicious spiced chickpeas (chana masala). The only dish I haven’t mastered is haleem, which is a porridge-y meal of meat, lentils and wheat. Mmmm. Don’t even get me started on Afghani food. Muntoo….yum. Ok, enough food talk, my fast has only just begun. Which reminds me, I need to turn off all the food blogs and posts on Facebook/IG for now. LOL.

I also planted last weekend. Tomatoes, jalapenos, habaneros, sweet bell peppers, brussel sprouts, peas and beans. It was probably a bit too soon, but as we haven’t decided where to put my permanent garden, they are in movable boxes. I can bring them in if the weather turns cold again. We also went to the nursery and engaged the services of the owner to help us decide on the front landscaping. We are going to have a bed put in with azaleas along the porch, green spire are the end with the feature rising sun full moon Japanese maple as the focal point.

Moonrise™ full moon maple - FineGardening

We initially thought we wanted a weeping cherry at the end of the bed, but everyone in this neighborhood seems to have one. Plus, my husband says they smell awful. Anyway, the landscaper said we are on the schedule now and should have the bed and plants in by May and there will be time to plant annuals in the vacant spaces.

Next up…get the contractor out to build the back deck.

Well, thanks for stopping by. I hope you all had a wonderful week. See you soon.

Fandango’s Provocative Question – Revisited (#11)

This month, Fandango’s Provocative Questions are reruns, but still new to me.

Do you believe that terminally ill people should be allowed or encouraged to end their lives via physician-assisted suicide? If so, under any circumstances or should there be restrictions? If not, why not? Optionally, if you were diagnosed with a terminal condition, would you consider physician-assisted suicide for yourself?

I honestly believe people should be allowed to do what they want to do or what their faith and belief tell them to do. Does this extend to my immediate family however? I don’t know. The hardest decision I was faced with (and I didn’t face it alone) was removing my brother from life support after he suffered a heart attack. It was not an easy decision, but, at the time, it was evident to me, my sister, my father, and my brother’s nieces and nephews, that he was “trying” to go. I would view that as a death with dignity. If my husband or daughter came to me, terminally ill, wanting to end their life, I don’t think I could give my consent (not that they need it…they are adults). But I can admit that that is a purely selfish statement. Would I ultimately respect that decision, I can’t say for sure, but I would like to think so.

As for restrictions, yes, if it were to become a thing readily available, I would say it would be imperative that the person be in their right mind when the decision is made. I mean that they are competent to state their intentions then and there. If a person has a living will, signed 20 years ago, wherein they requested assisted-suicide should they become terminally ill and the remainder of their life would be a burden or undignified or whatever, how can you be certain that should that person – several years before they became mentally incompetent – that it is still their wish.

As for me, if I were diagnosed with a terminally ill condition, I do not believe I would request physician-assisted suicide. That is faith-based for me and I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us. That plan includes our moment of birth and moment of death and every moment inbetween. I would not take that into my own hands.

Information about Islam : O Ever Living, O Self-Subsisting and Supporter of  all, by Your mercy I seek assistance, rectify for me all of my affairs and do  not leave me to

Share Your World – 4/12/2021

This week, Melanie Cee asks some unusual, or to use her word, “weird” questions. Fun nonetheless.

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time? Just about any medical procedure I should think. Like a colonoscopy or cystoscopy. That would be horrible.

Have you ever gotten a really bad haircut?  Do share!  Yes, but I was too young to be allowed to make that decision myself. In my convoluted mind, the story goes like this. Mom took me to JCPenneys to have a trim. I told the hairstylist to just take off the split ends. She ended up layering it and giving me a shag cut. I think my mom may have consented to that as it was NOTHING like I asked for. I must have been maybe 12 or 13? It was supposed to be the style at the time (the 1970s), but my hair was naturally curly so when it was layered, instead of hanging heavy and wavy, it turned into a mismatch pile of mess. <shudder> Fortunately all photos from that time have gone missing. (To my sister should she read this…all photos from that time have gone missing. Hear me?)

Isn’t Disney Land and Disney World (and all the variants) just a people trap operated by a mouse? LOL, I suppose so.

What if Batman got bitten by a vampire?   What would happen?  I think it depends on which vampire he is bitten by. Not all vampires are sun-fearing demons. Some sparkle. If he started to sparkle, he would not be able to hide his true identity in the daylight.

What do you want your final words to be if you could choose? “I bear witness that there is no deity but God, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of God.” This is called the Shahada, or testimony of faith. May it be the last words I utter before death, ameen.

Gratitude section

Today is the first day of fasting for Ramadan. It is my 20th year as a Muslim and I am blessed and grateful to be able to reach this holy month. I pray that God accepts our fasts and prayers.

Oh #Allah, make this month of #Ramadan a turning point in our lives- where  we turn towards You, for this month and forever… | Ramadan quotes, Islam  ramadan, Ramadan

Vultures

This week’s Song Lyric Sunday focuses on songs with one word titles. Of course there are many songs that fit this criteria, but one thing Jim Adams’ states in his post is that he is looking forward to hearing some new music. So I chose Vultures by Asking Alexandria.

Asking Alexandria is not a new band, but its popularity, I believe is not exactly mainstream either. Much of their music is heavy metalcore genre with only recently becoming more melodic. The current band members consist lead vocalist, Danny Worsnop, guitarists, Cameron Liddell and Ben Bruce, bass guitarist, Sam Bettley, and James Cassells on drums. While they are considered a British rock band from York (North Yorkshire), the initial band was formed by Ben Bruce in Dubai, UAE in 2006. It wasn’t until 2009 that the band released its first album.

The first album, Stand Up and Scream, debuted on the US chart, Top Heatseekers, for up and coming bands, at Number 4. Since then, the band has had consist gold records and hits and has toured with other bands, such as Avenged Sevenfold, and headlined tours, with supporting acts such as Trivium and Of Mice and Men. They have performed at popular festivals along side of Slayer and Slipknot. (Those are popular rock bands, in case you didn’t know.)

In January, 2015, Worsnop left Asking Alexandria and began to focus on his own band, We are Harlot. Fans were extremely distressed and as you will hear, Worsnop has a very unique voice. One that Asking Alexandria would find hard to duplicate. The band tried in May, 2015, by hiring Denis Stoff, a Ukrainian metal singer, who sounded similar to Worsnop. The issues between Ben Bruce and Worsnop were resolved, however, and by October, 2016, Worsnop returned to Asking Alexandria. (Thank goodness)

The song, Vultures, is from the 2017 self-titled album, Asking Alexandria, and the song itself released in 2018. This was the first album where the band worked with Matt Good and Jonathan Davis as producers. The song was written by Danny Worsnop and Ben Bruce a long time ago (2013) . This was also the first album to deviate from the metalcore sound and into more melodic hard rock. The album peaked at #27 of the US Top 200.

Vultures was actually written after the album From Death to Destiny was completed. It came together very quickly with Ben Bruce playing the guitar and Danny Worsnop penning lyrics over the music. At that time, Ben Bruce stated “We hated each other, we were all on drugs, we were drinking, and the recording of that album (From Death to Destiny) was extremely difficult. I left the studio before even finishing because I didn’t wanna be around Danny anymore.” The song, Bruce says, is about about how messed up the music industry is, and the lengths Asking Alexandra were pushed to for people to earn money at the expense of the band. “It lead us down this dark hole, and that was essentially Danny’s goodbye to music,” he said. “He was gonna quit music forever. It’s a sad song; it was a tough one to have written.” It was the last song written by Bruce and Worsnop and never got released, because Worsnop left the band. Worsnop said the song was so personally to him, he knew he would be back with Asking Alexandria because he would think about the song every day.

Worsnop’s recollection of where he was in life when that song was written was “when the blindfold finally came off from the industry, when we finally took it off ourselves, and realized how much we’d be f—ed all up. It was ahead of its time because it was about what we were later on. And it’s why I left. And we’d been worked into the ground. We’d been told that if we took a break, our career was done. That’s what we were told. And we were exhausted; we were broken; I was an addict; I’d lost a baby, and their thing was, ‘Well, go on tour,’ suck it up. You can deal with it from the road. So it was that. It was this downward spiral that just continues and continues and continues, and it was just us being bled dry. Because all they see is money. They don’t see people behind the paychecks. They just see the paychecks. So if we take a month off, that’s a month they’re not getting paid; they don’t want that. They don’t care if in six months we’re dead because they’ll find someone else to fill that space. And like, we’d literally bought drugs and drinks, chicks and all this different stuff just to keep us moving. It reached a breaking point, and I got out. But it was me leaving that kind of woke everyone up, and, I mean, going into it now, it’s a completely different story.”

(Quotes taken from Songfacts https://www.songfacts.com/facts/asking-alexandria/vultures)

I am posting two videos for the song. One is the one I like the best, although, the curse word is muffled. It needs to be heard. It makes the song in my opinion. Shows the frustration. The second is the official video.

Now, as I often like to do, I like to end with what the song means to me. To me, the song speaks of my apple cart. (My metaphor for my mental state.) While I cannot really blame the pressures of managers and the greed of others, I can blame myself. I take on more and more and more, always trying to please, until the cart upends itself and my life becomes chaotic and I find myself stuck. It is then I am faced with “do I run or do I lay down and die”. I can’t do either. So I pick up my apples and start over. I blame my inability to put myself first. The battle between my brain and my body. I numbly do what I need to do, not considering its affect on me, until I am forced to. And yes, I try to stop myself ahead of the disaster, but “everywhere I look these vultures burn the life right out of me”. Dark, but at the same time uplifting. The teeth gritting determination of breaking free.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Close the curtains, cash me in
Gather photographs of the devil you let in
Digging deep inside my soul
I don’t know where to turn everywhere I look these vultures burn the life right outta me
Do I run, or lay down and die?
Is it time to close my eyes?
Keep me numb, I’ll follow direction
A pawn to pass around and be bled until I’m dry
It’s hard to see what’s underneath, is it me?
Where do I turn?
Everywhere I look these vultures burn the life right outta me
Do I run, or lay down and die?
Is it time to close my eyes?
For so long all I’ve known, all I’ve seen’s green lights
Fuck your greed, all I need’s somewhere to catch my breath, rest my head, and ease my mind
I’ve been holding on but my grip’s not what it used to be
I’m much older, I’m bitter, I’m jaded I’m lost
Can somebody give me a sign?
Where do I turn?
Everywhere I look these vultures burn the life right outta me
Do I run, or lay down and die?
Is it time to close my eyes?

Questions from this Week

I have really been awful keeping up with My Inner MishMash‘s Questions of the Day this week. I have three to catch me up. Here goes:

Do you ever use dry shampoo? Nope. I am intrigued by it, but I only wash my hair one day a week as it is very, very dry and thanks to my overactive immune system killing me from the inside out, my hair falls out easily. I try to gently wash it with gentle shampoo and condition it well. Once a week.

All Souls

What is your favourite book written in the last 20 years? Well, I don’t really “read” books much although I do listen to them when I am commuting. I tend to always enjoy spiritual/educational books over novels mostly because I get very disappointed when a novel makes a mistake and I catch it. The book is ruined. Currently, however, I have been quite pleased with the All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness. I stumbled onto it after watching Season 1 of A Discovery of Witches. I finished the trilogy and I started on the 4th book, which I believe is meant to be lumped into the trilogy. It started with A Discovery of Witches, then Shadow of the Night, Book of Life and Time’s Convert.

What do you do for exercise/recreation? Now that the warmer weather is here, I walk the dog a bit longer and go for bike rides. That is my exercise. It will soon be time to start my garden, but even that has to be limited due to pain in my hands. For recreation, however, I embroider. I would like to do more…and I miss other activities…but I just can’t make my joints and muscles do the things I used to love, like hiking and fighting.

Weekend Coffee Share – 4/9/2021

Google images

Good morning! I am glad you stopped by for some Coffee, but I am afraid I am not going to be good company. I have had a stressful week and I’m wanting to be withdrawn – one of those weeks that a simple smile from a stranger makes me cry. Not good, I know, so I am putting on a brave face and I know that this weekly chat will do me good.

First of all, how is everyone? Hopefully everyone is starting to see spring weather and enjoy some outdoor time. Or for those in the other hemisphere, nice pre-winter weather. We had some rain and chill yesterday, but the rest of the week was very nice.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I have had some trouble focusing this week. I let something build up inside at home and, well, it has become one of those issues that if I try to let it out now, I will only seem petty and stupid. It will pass and I know, I should have spoken up when it first started. (Although it IS petty and stupid. I just can’t let it go.)

I had dinner with some girlfriends this week and the small local Indian restaurant accommodated us for indoor seating. They are still “closed” for everything but take out, but we know the owners so they opened for us and one other couple. It was nice and as always the food was delicious. There was some sad news shared about my friend’s nephew who has fallen on hard times and into addiction. She was hoping for a recommendation for someone to speak to him that could identify with him. In other words, a peer, not a doctor. Both my other friend and I immediately thought of a person who I happened to have “hung out” with in my long-ago past. (He was heavy into drugs and alcohol and ultimately ended up in a horrific ATV accident. He is now a born again Christian, clean and sober, and speaks to students in a touch love manner.) Anyway, although I have not spoken to him in over 35 years, I offered to make the introduction. I did and it started off as a pleasant social media re-acquaintance, but then turned into a “oh how I have missed you”, “I want to apologize for my treatment of you” and “I should never have let you go” Ummm, did we date? Apparently, we did. I thought we were just hanging out. My only “vivid” memories of my time with him are driving my mother’s car through the orchards spotlighting deer (yeah, we were punks) and him dropping me off at his friend’s house so he could pick up another girl. (Turns out his “friend” and I hit it off quite well and we married and had two beautiful children.) Anyway, I was quite uncomfortable.

I also learned some disturbing news about a close family member. He hasn’t been well for some time and he has made some recent decisions that make me seriously concerned for his mental well-being. All I can do there is pray.

However, all that icky stuff aside, Ramadan is nearly here and I am looking forward to it. This is my 20th Ramadan and I am just as excited as I was for the first. It is not as scary as it was when I first embraced Islam as it is no longer about abstaining from food and water. Funny how THAT was the primary concern early on. Now, it is more of determination not to lose my temper and break my fast that way. I do “fear” giving up coffee. Well, no, not coffee exactly. Giving up Starbucks. I drink coffee for suhoor (the morning meal). I just don’t get my daily triple venti black and white mocha. For anyone who may not know, Ramadan is a month in the Islamic year. For the entire month of Ramadan, we focus on ibadah (worship). Muslims who can fast should fast. That means no food or drink (including water) from the morning prayer to the evening prayer. For me, that means from about 5:20 a.m. to 7:40 p.m., approximately.

Work was busy. We are short an associate right now and the one young associate in the office is happily taking on work but he is overwhelmed. I can see the signs. I am doing more complex drafting (as if that was even possible) which I thoroughly enjoy. I jokingly asked if this means I can have an office with a window. Paralegals get offices, but inside offices without windows. My boss chuckled and apologized at the same time. She promised they will hire someone soon. And…thanked me for doing what I can. I’m often asked why I didn’t become an attorney. It is just my nature. I want to take care of…not be taken care of. I do all the messy stuff and try to make their lives easier. I would not make a good attorney. Plus, I cry too easily. When I handled my own divorce, I was quite certain I had all my ducks in a row. Papers in hand, scripted responses, etc. But then the silly judge asked me to “state my name for the record”. That was too much. I burst into tears.

My husband and I are working on landscaping our new house. We plan to swing by the local garden store again with a photo of our front yard. The staff there will then walk us through the rows of plants and help us decide what to plant. Philodendrons are always offered and try as I might, I just don’t like them. They are beautiful for the few minutes they bloom. Then the flowers turn ugly and that seems to stick around forever. I would love a lilac and a Japanese maple. Neither of which will go well in the front yard since it doesn’t get full sun. He is making arrangements for our backyard deck and it will be nice to have a place to sit in the sun.

Well my friends, that is it for me. Time for prayer and then off to the grocery store. I do hope you all had a pleasant week and thanks for letting me talk. It always helps.

Till next week…

Question of the Day – Morning Lark

Are you an early riser? Absolutely yes. I think it started when my daughters were very young. I would wake up before dawn just to have those few moments of peace and quiet while the house slept. Then, after I became Muslim, I would love to pray the Qiyam prayers early in the morning – before Fajr prayer.

I normally wake between 4 a.m. – 4:30 a.m. daily. Even on the weekends. I spend this quiet time drinking my first cup of coffee and either paying bills, looking for recipes, blogging or trolling social media. There is no television blaring in the background, the dog is still subdued, and it is the best time of the day for me. I have plenty of time to set myself on my routine.

Of course, waking that early has its consequences. I am exhausted and spent by 3 p.m. with a brain of mush. I can barely stay awake until 9 p.m. and I have difficulties by week’s end having only 6 hours of sleep a night. I know you can’t catch up on sleep, but I do give in to a few naps on the weekend in an attempt to recharge. I am definitely NOT the life of a party anymore and don’t like staying up past 10 p.m.

Question of the Day – Misunderstanding

What was the last thing that made you feel misunderstood? I believe the last thing that made me feel misunderstood is when I speak to my family. Whether it is a result of my profession – often having to explain “legalese” in layperson’s terms – or just my obsessive need to talk through a situation, I seem to often upset people when I over-explain situations. I absolutely do not think the person I am speaking to is stupid or incapable of understanding my conversation, but I still feel the need to give examples and define words or go into extreme detail. I have tried to explain that this is MY personality. For the most part, that is sufficient to end the misunderstanding, but often I am left having to change my personality so that I don’t continue to unintentionally offend anyone.

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