My Late Share Your World

The questions Melanie asks this week in her Share Your World Challenge are on point for me this week, especially the first one!


Do you become discouraged by the annual “Blogging Ennui” phenomenon that comes around every year?    (it’s early this year IMO) (blogging ennui means (to me) a distinct slow down in writing and participation, which lasts an indefinite period of time). I refuse to become discouraged. But I seem to regularly go through blogging ennui. As I mentioned many times before although I wish blogging was a creative outlet for me (I am not creative), it is more of a psychological outlet and sometimes the flurry of thoughts, words, and screeching are more than I can put into a coherent blog and therefore, I don’t blog. Counterproductive? Probably.

Ted Nugent
Jane Seymour

If you were in a room filled with you and your doppelganger (someone who looks exactly like you do.  Supposedly everyone has at least one out there in the world)  and 2 billion dollars, what would you do?   What do you think your doppelganger would do? So first of all, many years ago I was told my doppelganger was either Ted Nugent (minus the soul patch, thankyouverymuch) and/or Jane Seymour (I don’t see it at all…but I’ll take it). I believe my hair was all that was recognizable back then as I had A LOT of it and it was very bushy, curly, afro-ey. More wild Nugent-like than tame Seymour-like. Nevertheless, IF either of these characters were my doppleganger, I would take the money and run. Ted would hunt down some endangered wild animal and Jane…well she’s already rich so unless she is intent on being a frontier Doctor again, I don’t think she needs the money.

A building is burning. You have time to either save a child trapped inside or a valuable painting which you would then sell, using the money to save 20 children from starvation. What would you do and why? No brainer. Save the child. Plus if the reward for saving ONE person is as the Quran teaches, well…I don’t need to fret about the what ifs as it relates to the painting. Besides if I can, I’ll feed starving child OR adult.

What’s your opinion of yams or sweet potatoes? Is there a difference? If so, I don’t know that I have ever had a yam before, but I love me some sweet taters. Roasted with a tad bit of olive oil and some spices. Looking up the picture, I can say I have never had a yam before. Or a purple sweet potato. Or a white sweet potato. I feel I live a sheltered life now.


Please feel free to share an image of something that makes you smile!

My garden

This currently makes me smile because I catch my SOMH heart wiggling his toes in the dirt, gently clipping dead leaves off with his special gardening tools, and teaching me things like “apical bud”. He has always been a quiet young man, the kind that, when he speaks, he has something to say. (Opposite of me who vomits words out to fill the air sometimes.) He has been through a difficult personal issue lately and bonding with him over gardening and such (among other things) has been fulfilling. Since I first met him many years ago, his father has been amazed at how “much he talks” when he is around me. Being “that” person for him makes me happy, and I thoroughly enjoy his company.

Garden 2022

We (my SOMH and myself) finally finished the inground garden. My husband did 99% of the back-breaking work, but threw his hands up with the last corner after hitting a monstrous rock. I tried, but wielding a pick axe is harder than he makes it look. We needed a spot for the potted plants so where there was some grass, we just set the planters on top.

Full Garden

So here’s a picture of the full garden. The lighter soil was the original size of the garden and the part we planted a week or two ago. It holds our Brussel’s sprouts, broccoli, rhubarb, purple kale, and the scorpion and Carolina reaper peppers. The darker soil is what we finished today and holds our jalapenos, habaneros, poblanos and, in the cage is the ONE tomato I agreed to plant despite a horrible track records with tomatoes. The other cage has 4 zucchini planted around it as my SOMH believe we can have it grow UP. The planters contain green kale and romaine. We have one “baby” habanero that we repotted into a pot because it looks like it needs a bit of help.


We also have four boxes of herbs. Parsley, red/purple basil, sage, lemon balm, spearmint, spicy oregano, coneflower, licorice, chamomile, and lavender. The chamomile is not doing well.

The bug eaters

My SOMH is a born botanist. The man knows so much about plants and although I love gardening, with his help, I am confident we will have a great harvest – I’ll reserve that optimism when it comes to the tomato. One of the things he is fascinated by are carnivorous plants. He created a bog garden and planted the fly traps and those tube things…I think he calls them pitcher plants.

The last thing he says we need to plant are the loofahs. He has those growing in his room. I don’t know if we have room for them in that garden and no one has the energy to wield the pick axe anymore.

Written for Weekend Coffee Share hosted by Natalie.

Share Your World – 5-9-22

I am desperately in need of distraction, but all the same terrified of distraction, as I inch closer to my vacation. So much to do…all deadlines and activities set upon by my own neurosis. So for today’s distraction before starting Job #2 of the day, here are Melanie’s questions:


What two totally normal things become really weird if you do them back to back?  Getting dressed and going back to bed. Sometimes I bounce my cheerful morning self out of bed, whip on some clothes, decide I could use another hour, and go back to bed. Weird.

What is something that you just recently realized that you are embarrassed by, that you didn’t realize embarrassed you?   Just today my coworker was commenting on my hyper-focus on what files I have in my office and projects I have less than a month to complete, as I explained what preparing to go on vacation does to me and the absolute certainty that something gets overlooked and the bosses will surely realize their error in ever hiring me, I realized how neurotic I sound. I mean…I know I have issues, but wow, when I say it out loud to someone and their response is “oh that makes me so sad”, you know you have overstepped.

If  Australia (including New Zealand and Tasmania – which I KNOW are different countries); the UK, Ireland, Germany, the USA, and Brazil or Italy were represented by one food, which would it be for each?  This is going to be hard but let’s see:

  • Australia: Vegemite
  • New Zealand: Kiwi
  • Tasmania: Something devilishly hot
  • UK: Bangers and mash
  • Ireland: Stew
  • Germany: Bratwurst
  • USA: Anything super-sized
  • Brazil: Nuts
  • Italy: Pasta

What might happen if Goldilocks and the Three Bears were set in modern times? Goldilocks would be shot as an intruder, and the bears would be charged for murder.

Where was the most most embarrassing or inappropriate place you’ve passed audible gas? I am an Icelandic lady and we do not pass gas, audible or silent. Appalling to even consider it. However, once in 7th grade math class, I was quite bored and made fart sounds through my lips. Backfired. The class thought I was having the farts and well, I didn’t hear the end of that for awhile.


If you celebrate it, how was your Mother’s Day?  What did you do?   If you don’t (because you’re a single guy or it’s not in your culture) please share something fun you did recently. Its a day. My oldest daughter sent me a lovely small journal for my trip. My younger daughter and I texted. I believe (firmly believe) every day is mother’s day (father’s day, birthday) etc. as we are blessed to reach any new day. My husband took me for ice cream after I made dinner, did the laundry, washed the dishes, meal prepped, bought my SOMH a mini tripod for our trip, new earbuds for my husband (and so help me God if these end up thrown in a lake, a cornfield, or off the side of the cruise ship, he WILL be going in after them), and took the dog out several times. My oldest stepson (SOMH) sent me a picture of a tiramisu Frappuccino recipe, but didn’t get me one. And not a peep from the younger stepson. In their defense, I am not their mother (nor was I ever a mother figure to either – they were older when I came into their lives). All in all, it was a satisfying day.

Sunday Ramble – 5/8/22

For this week, E.M. has us rambling about our blogs for her Sunday Ramble. I’m interested to see if others have similar reasons for blogging as I do. So here are her prompts:

  1. When did you start your blog? I started blogging probably 14-15 years ago at the suggestion of a therapist/naturopath.
  2. Did you start with a theme, or did it come later on? I’ve never really had a theme other than trying to keep humor (mostly at myself) in my posts.
  3. What is your favorite post that you have ever written on your blog? Although I sometimes reread my blogs, that is pretty rare. I can’t recall a post that was my favorite, but the ones that draw in comments of people experiences same or similar situations or comment that my post made them smile (or cheered the up, or supported them, etc.) Those are my favorites.
  4. Do you share your blog with friends and family, or do you keep your blogging world separate from them? I have no secrets from my friends and family, but I do not make it known that I have a blog either. Blogging is to get the noise out of my head and I don’t really need close friends or family reading more into it than say fellow bloggers who don’t know me. I write and the noise is out of my head. Rehashing or interpreting it by others would not be fun for me.
  5. What is the best advice you could give someone who is new to blogging? Depends on why you are blogging. If you blog because it was suggested by therapists or the like, like me, then be honest and let the words flow AND, when you find you are not alone in your world, which I did, find those similar blogs and read them…learn from them and know you are not alone out there. If you are creative writing, don’t give up or suppress your creativity to conform (different than seeking and/or taking advice from others), but stay true to yourself. There are others out there that will appreciate you.

Blog Catch-up

I have some prompts to catch up this evening so I thought I would lump them all in one.

Let’s start with Truthful Tuesday (5/3/2022). Melanie poses a question near and dear to my sanity.

Is it compassionate for medical professionals to keep people on tenterhooks waiting for results, particularly if the diagnosis in question could be really bad news; but in general too?   My medical doctors are through WellSpan, UPMC Pinnacle or Johns Hopkins, all of which share medical records and reports. After every appointment and relatively shortly after every medical test or lab work, my results are on our portal. I do not wait for the doctor and by the time, they update with their notes and comments, I have my questions ready to go. But to this question…do I think it is compassionate. I do not. Good news or bad, rip that bandaid off. Every person deserves to know.

Wouldn’t it be kinder to just shut up and order the tests and whatever to find out a firm answer before stressing out the patient?   In your honest opinion please. Now this questions sounds like the doctor gives his “opinion” on what it could be without back up information. Ok, so sure, tell the patient we want to rule out “such and such”, but then immediately order the tests. Don’t say “if you are not better in a week, then we will test for cancer.” What does frustrate me beyond words is NOT testing for everything. If it could be “cancer”, an “autoimmune”, “pregnancy”, then please test for all.

Next is Fellow Blogger edition of Share Your World (5/2/22) with a lot of variety in the questions:

Tena  What constitutes a sandwich in your opinion?   Is it only the standard two slices of bread, filling (including spreads or meats and cheeses and veggies), put together in a stack? I think a sandwich involves bread of some sort with a filling of some sort.

Marilyn of Serendipity    Are ‘strong’ and ‘tough’ in regard to character the same thing or different?   Please explain your reasoning for either side you pick. No, I do not consider them the same thing. You can be strong but not necessarily be tough. To me being “tough” is to be hard and being “strong” is persevering in the face of difficulty. I fought for years but I do not believe that makes me tough. I am tender and emotional, but I am strong, in that I would not give up and try again until I got better.

Paula Light of Light Motifs II  (4-5-2022)

  • What’s your opinion on RSVPs? Mandatory no matter what the situation.
    Obviously, formal occasions require them, but what about invitations to dinner/movies and the like? I think it is common courtesy.
    If a friend invites you to something, are you obligated to reply? Yes.
    What if you say yes and change your mind? Absolutely and be honest.
    How much notice is enough? As soon as you know.
    Is it OK to simply no-show to a casual social event you’ve already agreed to?  I think that is disrespectful. 

Sadje: (4-5-2022) Do you think Hell has walls? Not walls like we are accustom to. Nothing about hell (or heaven) is within our comprehension.

A Unique Title For Me (Jim)  (4-5-2022) 

  • What would you name your boat if you had one? I really can’t think of anything. I would probably defer to whatever name my husband would pick. He has probably dwelled on it a lot longer than I have.
    What will finally break the internet? Censorship?
    If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name? Well, I have already changed my name. My birth name is Diane, my legal name is Salimah. Put them together and you have Sadi.
    What are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults? I always get defensive if someone makes a big deal about my clothes or anything. If someone says “wow, you look nice today”, I figure I have something in my teeth and they are trying to cover their horrified reaction.
    If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask? Am I worthy.

Marilyn (4-5-2022)  How many bloggers are trying to balance the likelihood that WordPress will hike prices against the near certainty that their computers are ready to roll over and die? I will find another platform to write. As much as I enjoy the blogging community on WordPress, blogging is only a hobby for me.
Cyranny of Cyranny’s Cove (4-28-2022 – from her amazing “Cyranny’s Quickie” series)   What’s the most impressive, or oddest thing you’ve ever fixed with duct tape (or something similar)? When I was living in Iceland, we had a tire losing air. We all chewed a whole lot of gum to plug it up.

Finally, we have E.M.’s Sunday Ramble:

If people get a purple heart for being wounded in war, what do the other colors of hearts mean? (Make up your own heart meanings and colors.) Oh boy…I am never good with this. Red/love, yellow/sympathy, green/friendship.

If you were given $5 Million to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? It would have to be a very eclectic museum. There are a lot of things worth displaying.

if you could build a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would it look like? One from the 1800s.

What would the adult version of an ice cream truck sell, look like, and play for its song? Ice cream, and it would look and sound just like the ones I remember as a child.

What animal would be the cutest if it was down-sized to the size of a cat? While nursing three very, very sore toes, I think my ginormous English Labrador would be quite cute as a kitten so I would not struggle to avoid him squashing my foot.

Well, that’s that…I’m caught up now.

Weekend Coffee Share – 4/30/22

It’s been awhile. I’ve been dodging some mental curve balls being flung at me for the last few weeks and settling my mind to write anything that doesn’t sound whiny (or crazy) has been a challenge. Really…you should read some of the motions I have drafted for work. Talk about stretching the bounds of facts vs opinions. Anyway, I am here now and going to invite you in for some coffee, water, tea, or juice. I really don’t have snacks to offer as it is grocery shopping day and I have 45 minutes until the store opens.

Our long-awaited Alaskan cruise is coming up in just over a month. I am already packed. Well, not physically packed with clothes in a suitcase, but I have my lists with detailed daily outfits planned, and the items I don’t need on a daily basis are in the spare room “staging area” with notations on which suitcase it goes in. Neither man in the house have even started lists. I did have a discussion with my husband that I am not going to be responsible for him forgetting things. He promised he wouldn’t. I told him…I’m packing MY chargers and MY extension cords (I hear cruise rooms don’t have a lot of outlets). He heard me. Inevitably, I will have to share because he will forget something. As for my SOHM (my husband’s son/son of my heart), he at least confirmed he “counting underwear” to be sure he has enough for the cruise.

One potentially sad bit of news for me for the cruise I received from the trauma doctor this week following up on my foot fiasco. When I told him I have an excursion/hike planned in Sitka, he shook his head. There is a chance my toes will not be healed enough to risk hiking. I simply nodded my head in return and said not going was not an option for me. He conceded that if I could get my foot into hiking boots, and that I had “excellent hiking boots” (I do), then by all means take the hike.

Speaking of my foot, well, for those of you who may not have read my graphic and miserable blog last week (The Perils of Distracted Walking), I fell last Friday and dislocated toes 2-4 on my left foot. The doctor I followed up with said it is healing well, but it will take 3-6 weeks in a special boot wearing a splint over the three toes and a compression sock to keep my foot swelling down, to heal. I still can’t put weight on my foot without great pain, but then again, I’m not taking anything for the pain either. Unfortunately, no matter the shoe I wear on my right foot while wearing the boot, my gait is off and as such, my right hip and low back are bothering me now too.


Ramadan is nearing its end, with Eid expected to be either Sunday or Monday (making today or tomorrow the last day of fasting). I miss the larger Muslim community although the large Eid prayer usually instilled panic in me. (I don’t do crowds.) I do miss the tradition I had with my daughter to go to IHOP for breakfast after the prayer. I sent her some Eid money and asked her to go to IHOP with her family and think of me. For me, Eid will be a normal day. If it is Monday, I may be able to go to the large prayer (but my doctor frowns upon me driving when I take Ativan or Valium – and that will be necessary to navigate a crowd of that size.) If it is tomorrow and it likely will NOT be, I could make a special day of it. Monday will, of course, see me bright and early at my much-missed Starbucks. I will go Sunday (if I can) and get some baklava or other sweets to take to work for my co-workers. They are all so supportive for Ramadan. I get apologies when the bring food to the office and one attorney (she is so funny), hides behind her computer monitor if she is drinking coffee or water. Totally unnecessary, but sweet to consider it. I guess they think I am going to collapse or attack when I see food. They can’t be further from the truth, but for many non-Muslims focusing on the fact that I don’t eat or drink from sunup to sundown seems to be impossible to them. My issue isn’t fasting. My issue is curbing road rage and not screaming and cursing at the disrespectful idiots on the highway.

Lurgan Nursery

Today, my SOHM and my husband are taking me to a large nursery run by the Amish in Lurgan Township. I’m pretty sure this is the only business in Lurgan Twp. (LOL). My SOHM and I are putting the garden together. That young man can coax a dead oak leaf back to life his thumb is so green. I, on the other hand, plant and watch them die. But as he is currently going through some personal issues (a divorce), it is wonderful to see him have interest in something again and his dad is accommodating him (and me) by building us a garden box out back. My SOHM sent me a text earlier this week saying he “was doing a pub crawl. Only instead of pubs, it was nurseries, and instead of drinks, he bought plants.” Later that day we stood looking at the garden box his dad was building and decided we are going to need a bigger garden. So far, the plan is to plant jalapeño pepper, either scotch bonnet or scorpion peppers, broccoli, squash, brussels sprouts, and purple kale. Then we have four long boxes of herbs: peppermint, chamomile, coneflower, purple basil, sage, and lemon balm. He’s all about making tea. He has been excitedly talking about getting a dehydrator and next year putting a shelf to start seeds in one of the other rooms upstairs. Like I said, he is so excited about the garden and he loves plants, that it is hard to tell him to stop. (His room is covered in carnivorous plants, succulents, a mini banana tree, and a plethora of other green plants.)

I hope you are all having a wonderful week and find it as hard to believe as I do that tomorrow starts May already. Thanks for joining me. Posting for Weekend Coffee Share hosted by Natalie.

Sunday Ramble – 4/25/22

I know, its not Sunday anymore, but I wasn’t able to find a comfortable position to sit and blog yesterday so I’m going to answer today! This week’s questions focus on the happy and are hosted by E.M. Kingston.

Here are the questions:

What is at least one thing that makes you happy today? I’ll have to answer that for yesterday as today has only just begun. The sun was shining and all the beautiful spring trees and flowers were out in all their glory.

Quantum of the Seas

What is one thing that happened last week that made you feel positive and happy? We checked in for our cruise.

What is your positive personal mantra? (Mantra means “a statement or slogan repeated frequently” via Oxford Dictionary.) “You don’t lose if you get knocked down. You lose if you stay down.” Muhammed Ali

What is the nicest act you secretly did for someone? I try to make a habit of doing charitable things and forgetting them. I would say the nicest thing I do for people is smile. It is secret, because sometimes the last thing I want to do to that person is smile.

What is one hobby you would like to try? I can’t think of any that are still a viable option any longer. The last thing I can remember really wanting to try is free-running (parkour), however, seeing as how I can’t manage to walk my dog without falling and dislocating toes, that’s definitely NOT a viable option. Maybe something safe like chair yoga or the like.

Bonus Question: What is your go-to song to belt out in the shower? I don’t sing in the shower. I probably did when I was a kid, but nowadays I am less about torturing others with my singing than I am about getting in and out of the shower.

The Perils of Distracted Walking (trigger warning- graphic photos)

Allow me to share the trials and tribulations of walking while distracted. Yes…walking.

Friday morning at approximately 5:15 a.m. I was walking my dog before preparing to leave for work. I do this every morning and the same walk up to the field and back from the field. This morning however I was on my cell phone. Yes, yes…can y’all see where this is going.

I had my face in the app, blinded by the brightness of the screen (thank you cataracts) and as we were approaching the house, I didn’t see the slanted concrete curb to our front yard and kicked it full force. I face-planted in my front yard. As I was falling, my brain in slow motion screamed “what is happening”. Both shoes flew off. My dog slipped his leash and stepped to the driveway – stared at me like I was an alien. Seriously, you’ll see this on Ridiculousness if anyone’s ring camera picked it up. (No, mine did not, I checked.)

I jumped up…ok, so I rolled over, found my shoes and hobbled to my feet. My left foot was a ball. I limped to my house (totally forgetting my dog who had wandered off to do his business.) I was limping in circles on the patio trying to figure out what to do. THAT my ring camera did pick up. I remember bending to touch my left foot and my toes to the balls of my foot were one stiff mass.

I fling open the front door and yell to my husband (who happened to be home because he has an OSHA safety meeting that morning) that I “broke my foot and am driving to the ER.” I hear a sleepy, “wait, what?”, but I turned, opened the door, and was surprised to see my dog waiting to come in (I have a dog? Oh yes, the dog.), and I hobbled off to my car. I vaguely remember seeing Crush’s face at the window with the “wait…where’s my treat face?”

I arrive at the ER with my foot getting stiffer by the moment. The triage nurse met me at the door with a wheelchair and I was whisked back to a room. They asked how this happened, and I begged them not to make me tell. (I did, of course)

The unveiling

Once in the room, the nurse unveiled my foot. I had not looked at it yet. The x-ray technician was in my room within minutes. (As an aside, I serve on several committees for our local hospital and I have to say our ER has made amazing improvements over the years. They are fantastic.)

The ER doctor came in and determined my toes 2, 3 and 4 were “severely dislocated”. You might want to look away now.

Toe 2 is leaning against the big toe, toe 3 leaning over the bone of toe 2, etc. The doctor tells me I have three choices. IV medication or IV sedation, both of which require me to have ride home (my SOMH was off so he could pick me up), or three quick pops and I can head home or go to work. Well, personality wise, I could not think to put anyone out by coming to get me; and routine wise would dictated that I was not scheduled to work from home or be off and there is a big real estate closing next week that my boss was counting on me finishing up some documents. So there … decision made. Only, it was not three quick pops. Toes 2 and 4 were so badly dislocated it took FOUR tries. After the third try, he asked me again if I wanted medication; he almost took the choice away from me, but I think I was in shock because the words that came out of my mouth were “just do it”. First three times, my screams were “owie, owwwwwww”, last time, it was a bloodcurdling scream heard around the world. I will spare you description of the effort it took to set those two toes. Suffice it to say, if GOD FORBID, this ever happens again, this will involve IV sedation, IV drugs and a lifetime supply of narcotic pain meds.


As you can see, the realignment was successful. Please ignore the bunion, I am old and yes…eventually they (each foot) need surgery so I am told. I had to have a second set of x-rays to determine if I have a fracture anywhere, and as of this writing, I have not seen the radiologist’s report yet. I have to follow up with an orthopedic doctor next week, but I am not sure why. Resetting the toes should stop the pain. (It has not, by the way.)

I was discharged from the hospital with my toes buddy-taped and sporting a very sexy open toe shoe.

Don’t you wish you had a shoe this sexy

I went to work. I was determined to demand a raise after the trauma I just put myself through to remain a loyal, dedicated employee. I told my two direct supervisors I needed a raise…boss A said “we have a policy against open toe shoes” (joking of course) and boss B nearly cried and could not believe I came in. No raise though.

As the day progressed, the swelling increased and my foot started turning purple. They sent me home. The doctor promised it would feel better, and it does feel better than it did, but I am in excruciating pain. I came home, dug through our old medication box and located a very old, long-expired prescription for hydrocodone (I had refused meds in the ER). I chewed that puppy up like it was a jelly bean; totally ineffective against the pain, but I could see sounds and taste colors.

Puffy and Swollen

Resting at home, I iced and elevated my foot and tried to work. (Typing coherent emails after a questionable strength narcotic was not working for me.) I called the day a wash and went to rest on the couch. My husband made it home from the OSHA meeting and although I had shared photos of my adventures with him, he missed the whole story of how this all happened. The look on his face was priceless…”you and that damn phone”.

So in summary, lessons learned from the day:

  • Don’t drink and drive. No wait, wrong lesson – Don’t walk in the dark, with a dog, with your face in your phone.
  • If, and I pray that day never comes, you dislocate one or more toes on either of your feet, TAKE THE IV MEDICATION AND/OR SEDATION.
  • Take care of yourself first. Stop and think. Work can wait.
  • And finally, seriously get rid of expired medication. The efficacy is questionable and probably a bit dangerous to take. Granted this Rx expired more than five years ago so I was really taking my chances, but still…best not to risk it.

Share Your World – 4/19/22

Where has the day gone…I normally look for my blog prompts first thing in the morning and here it is afternoon already. Time to answer Share Your World questions hosted by Melanie.

In your opinion, what do you buy way more of than most people? Probably containers and boxes to organize things in.

Which workers have the worst jobs? To each their own, but I could not work with people (social workers) that have to help abused and neglected children. I would be in jail for sure and those abused and neglected children would be without “parents”.

Opinion.  John Cage is a composer who composed a piece named 4’33” for any instrument. The performance are instructed not to play their instrument for four minutes and thirty-three seconds. Is this music or is this art?  A combination of the two?   Neither, it’s stupid.  Your opinion? I don’t know anything about this, but 4 minutes and 33 seconds is an awful long time to halt playing music. I would be awkwardly clapping thinking it was the end of the performance and get up to leave. Honestly, I don’t think this is either art or music.

How good are you at drawing? If I am drawing something mentally, perfection. If it requires use of a pen, pencil, marker, paintbrush or anything else to touch paper, horrible.

GRATITUDE SECTION (as always optional)

Feel free to share one amazing thing you’ve experienced (any time frame). Ok, well one of the most amazing things I experienced was one Ramadan we had a qiyam at the mosque (we stay up all night praying and go home at dawn). There is a night during the last 10 nights of Ramadan where, if you “catch it”, you are greatly rewarded. I am not going into a lot of explanatory detail here, but if you have questions, ask and I’ll answer. Anyway, there are some signs that you have “caught” this night – one of which being the clarity of the moon and the sun rising without rays. I came out of the mosque and those signs were present. I wasn’t the only one there that felt that way. It was…by far…one of the most amazing, spiritually uplifting moments in my life.

Sunday Ramblings – 4/17/22

This week, E.M. offers up some thoughts to ramble on about involving something I feel is an integral part of my sanity: Habits.

Do you have a daily routine that you are used to, or do you just go with the flow of the new day? I absolutely have daily routines. I have certain specific things that must happen in an organized and scheduled manner or I pretty much crumble and desperately want to curl into a fetal position and wait for the next day. That being said, once the routine is in play, the stuff in the middle does not have to be laid out. There are many items I feel I must do A-Z or I freeze, forget, and can’t function. I would say my routines start every activity and end every activity. But the middle part can be pretty random.

Do you do anything in your life habitually that you wish you could stop? I wish I could stop my racing brain. I have/am employing multiple cognitive behavioral therapies (CBT), but it is still very hard for me because by the time I recognize that my brain is whirring out of control, its too late. I am sure there are many other habits I have that I would like to change, but usually if something is a bad habit, I am able to stop it.

If habit was the acronym H.A.B.I.T, what would it be short for? For me, likely it would stand for Health And Behavior In Training. I feel the need to create habits or routines, and my counselors have told me I do this to avoid anxiety. I have a type of anxiety that does not present as typical anxiety. No feeling of anxiety or panic present so that I can take appropriate measures to avoid or counteract it. Instead my body reacts after the fact with pain or other debilitating reaction. (Lately, my tinnitus becomes “heavy” in my head. Unlike pain, nothing stops the noise and there is zero relief from it. I can’t sit in a position to ease it even for a few moments.) Therefore, usually after a particular bad time, I try to find a habit/routine that will protect me from having it happen again. It would be nice if I knew what event triggered the anxiety. Another issue with not having symptoms of anxiety – how do I avoid the trigger when I don’t know what the trigger was?

Are we born with our bad habits? Or do we acquire them from the environment surrounding us? No, I don’t think so. I believe bad habits are acquired by poor judgment, lack of judgment, or our environment and surroundings.

Are you a night owl, early bird, or something else when it comes to sleeping routines? I am an early bird. I rarely stay up beyond 10 p.m. and I get up between 4-5 a.m. As we are in the midst of Ramadan, my mornings are earlier, but generally speaking, I am up early, even on the weekends. I am fresh and ready to go in the morning. My wind-down begins around 2 p.m. and if I am permitted to sit still for any length of time, I am done and can fall asleep easily. If I am kept busy, as I usually am at work, then making dinner, walking the dog, straightening up the house, and working my 2nd job for an hour or so, I keep going. But when I sit down…I am done. Interestingly, knowing this, it often bothers my husband, because I will sit to settle in and watch a television show with him, but jump up 4-5 times to put something away that I overlooked, or make sure the dishes are done, or … or … or. I know I will be done and I can’t be “done” until it is all done.

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